wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
