do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
