Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize