Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
