Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
