I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
