It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
