Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
