woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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