whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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