new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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