We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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