youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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