forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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