Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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