whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
