He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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