It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize