some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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