my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
