Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
