i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
