somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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