1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize