but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
