Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
