But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
