They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He did a backflip because drugs
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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