i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
