I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
