porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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