I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
