I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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