3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
