It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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