she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
