Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
