why didn't you poke me back
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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