He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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