I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
