i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
