idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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