So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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