Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
