I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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