Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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