I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
