Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
bring money and cleavage
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
