I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
