we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
