I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize