Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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