Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize