Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
