i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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