DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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