I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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