I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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