i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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