Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
