You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize