Little spoons don't ask big questions
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I supernannyed him into submission
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
