BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
