awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
